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These wonderful weasel facts were brought to you by MonkeyPirateZombie!
 In the MINISTRY OF MISINFORMATION.

Fascinating facts about weasels.

  • The weasel is a small furry mammal ( latin name mustela,) that is often confused with ferrets, or pine martins. They are rarely confused with monkeys.
  • The weasel is native to Britain, Mainland Europe and North America. Interestingly these are areas where the monkey is not native.
  • The weasel’s natural enemies include foxes, badgers and birds of prey. They consider them to be worthy foes, but then they have never met a monkey.
  • Weasels are well known through the nursery rhyme ‘pop goes the weasel’. Of course anyone who has ever witnessed a weasel explode will testify that it in fact makes more of a squelching sound.
  • Weasels do not live in trees. You are probably thinking of monkeys.
  • All weasels are homosexuals. They mate with the opposite sex for the continuation of the species but they do not enjoy it.
  • Monkeys are much better than weasels.
  • Weasels are poisonous. If you are bitten by one then if you do not take the antidote within twenty four hours you will die. Coincidentally the antidote is secreted only by monkeys.
  • Weasels can fly, they just choose not to. This is because they are lazy and shiftless and know that monkeys are naturally superior.
  • The word weasel, when written backwards reads "KILL THEM ALL"
  • I can’t think of anything else about weasels, but monkeys are great aren’t they?

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