In the MINISTRY OF MISINFORMATION.
Fascinating facts about weasels.
- The weasel is a small furry mammal ( latin name
mustela,) that is often confused with ferrets, or pine martins. They are rarely confused with monkeys.
- The weasel is native to Britain, Mainland Europe
and North America. Interestingly these are areas where the monkey is not native.
- The weasel’s natural enemies include foxes,
badgers and birds of prey. They consider them to be worthy foes, but then they have never met a monkey.
- Weasels are well known through the nursery rhyme
‘pop goes the weasel’. Of course anyone who has ever witnessed a weasel explode will testify that it in fact makes
more of a squelching sound.
- Weasels do not live in trees. You are probably thinking
- All weasels are homosexuals. They mate with the
opposite sex for the continuation of the species but they do not enjoy it.
- Monkeys are much better than weasels.
- Weasels are poisonous. If you are bitten by one
then if you do not take the antidote within twenty four hours you will die. Coincidentally the antidote is secreted only by
- Weasels can fly, they just choose not to. This is
because they are lazy and shiftless and know that monkeys are naturally superior.
- The word weasel, when written backwards reads "KILL
- I can’t think of
anything else about weasels, but monkeys are great aren’t they?